When you sit down to eat your Sharksgiving food. Remember what you’re thankful for:
Sharks.
If it weren’t for Sharks you wouldn’t be alive today or reading this blog.
If it weren’t for Sharks then Steven Spielberg wouldn’t be so hated in the general Shark community.
If it weren’t for Sharks well there wouldn’t even be Shark Week!
THERE WOULDN’T EVEN BE SHARK WEEK.
So make sure after you eat your (man)food and play a game of pin the fin on the Shark with the old clan to thank sharks.
Because we all know without Sharks none of us would be here today.
They’re very intimidating and also very strong so would that make them great warriors?
I like to think the answer is a double edge sword.
On one side there’s this awesome beast of warrior full of Shark Testosterone who seems to be crazier than the norm.
(Bruice from Grand Theft Auto IV was known to inject himself with Bull Shark Testosterone turning him into a BA.)
But on the other side they have gils which means they need to be “breathing” water 24/7 or they could die.
(Virgil “Bull” Sharkowski is a bully in the cartoon My Gym Partner’s A Monkey. He wore headphones filled with water over his gils 24/7 or he would die. He was also a BA.)
Sharks are great predators so they know how to kill a man(or any other creature).
In battle I imagine Sharks would be able to kick a lot of A(ass).
Sharks are known to fight some of the worlds strongest heroes, including Superman:
Halloween feels like it was just yesterday and Christmas is right around the corner. We all know what that means, Shark Week is on it’s way!
Thanks to a certain Shark Week countdown website we, the Shark enthusiasts, can now be updated on all the the whereabouts that is Shark Week.
As of right now there is 281 days, 8 hours, 12 minutes, and 45 seconds(this is likely to change because of the time space continuum) till Shark Week. And to be frank that feels like it’s we’re almost there. What can we, the Shark lovers, expect for this years Shark Week? Dare I say Jack Black singing with Sharks?
Just look at his teeth. HO HO HO HO HO HO(You’ll understand that reference further down the post).
This week on Sharkville I’m going to show the world one of the coolest and unique Sharks around, the Goblin Shark.
Now when you read this you were probably like, Goblin?
Green Goblin?
But no you’re wrong, the Goblin Shark is deep-sea shark living under depths greater than 200m. They can be found from parts of Australia all the way to Mexico. They also don’t like sunlight so you, not Shark person, will never find one. Unless you become a Shark expert but I dont’ expect that. You’re a punk.
These Sharks have very funky looking teeth. Like just look at the teeth. They’re so funky fresh. It makes me think of this.
Oh and Sharkville would like to wish you a Happy Halloween.
Sharks are deadly animals but are also mysterious.
Velociraptors are very deadly animals and are extremely mysterious, the only thing we know is that they might be able to speak english.
Sharks can be scary, but they only talk if they have been humans in the past. It’s common sense people, it’s first grade [insert your name here], it’s first grade.
Just try to remember that Velociraptors are not Sharks, they’re Velociraptors you idiot. Sharks are jawesome creatures with five to seven gills on the side of their head(s), and a kick ass dorsal fin to spike fear into every beach dweller.
Velociraptors scare children, movie-goers and possibly put faith into peoples hearts.
See Raptor Jesus for this.
In conclusion, Sharks are not Velociraptors. Velociraptors are not Sharks.
If you’ve been reading my blog for awhile now you would know that I love Sharks but not just Sharks but also Shark Week. A week full of Sharks but not just Sharks however Shark themed programming on the Discovery Channel.
It’s like Christmas but better with the gift of informational and inspirational Shark tales from the television.
Discovery Channel’s Shark Week not only provides us with Shark information and hours upon hours of entertainment but instead they bring the family together. What’s that? Your cat died? Shark Week lets you forget about Little Wizkers and instead gives you Craig Ferguson feeding sharks. Now you and your Mom aren’t crying over Little Wizkers but over the beautiful graceful gentle Sharks that Craig is feeding. Please for the love of Shark watch this entire clip, or find the entire episode through unchristian ways on the internets because this will completely change your perspective if you’re still frightened by sharks. And if you are still frightened then you’re a loser and why the hell are you reading my blog you stupid piece of Dolphin.(I’m kidding.)(No I’m not.)
Shark Week is like a music festival. I wait for it every year and I love it. Some years are great, some years are not so great. Regardless it’s still Shark Week and I’m still going to enjoy it because I’m a fan. Sharks are interesting creatures(they’re the cool-E-est) and they deserve more than just a week but that would take away the magic of what is Shark Week. You know how some wish Christmas was everyday but remember kids what happened in that Fairly Odd Parents episode about Christmas happening every day? It sucks. It gets old and it becomes a repeat after repeat after repeat after repeat after repeat until skdlghadskfhpoadklsghsddf OH MY GOD I DON’T CARE ANYMORE. NO MORE CHRISTMAS.
Shark Week is not Christmas, it’s Shark Week so we shouldn’t have to worry about that.
There are 37 countries including the United States that are taking a higher stance on protecting 10 Shark species and even a few Ray species. Whoa Rays, don’t go around thinking you’re as cool as Sharks because you’re not. You’re not. Nope.
The US and Columbia will make sure to secure trade for the oceanic whitetip shark. While Mexico is securing the Hammerheads. Hammerheads stay frosty, you’re one of the coolest species around.
“International trade is a major driver for shark fisheries around the world, and yet controls on this exploitation are woefully insufficient,” said Sonja Fordham, President of Shark Advocates. “We are grateful for continued U.S. leadership in addressing international shark trade, and welcome this unprecedented number of proposals to safeguard these vulnerable species under CITES.” – eTurbonews
For some reason people like to kill sharks and then use them to strange human activities like eating food. In China the Hammerhead fins are used for a very disturbing soup. Certain species of Hammerheads like the Scalloped and Great Hammerhead are globally endangered. Probably due to all that Chinese soup.
“Hammerhead sharks are among the most threatened of the wide-ranging sharks, due largely to the high demand for their fins,” said Rebecca Regnery, Deputy Director for Wildlife at Humane Society International. “We are particularly pleased that Mexico, an influential shark-fishing nation, has joined the effort to conserve hammerheads through CITES with this strong proposal.” – eTurbonews
Though not as serious but still pretty freakin serious the oceanic whitetip shark, porbeagle(don’t ask), manta rays, and a hammerhead known as smooth hammerhead are globally vulnerable.
We all know that Sharks are the coolest animals on the planet. We also know that Video Games are the coolest thing ever on the planet, as well. However the two don’t really see eye to eye. Sharks have been featured in games but never given justice towards their species. Let’s talk about the Best Games Sharks Are Featured In, the Worst Games Sharks Are Featured In and Games-that-would-be-better-if-they-involved-(more)-Sharks.
Best Games Sharks Are Featured In:
Batman: Arkham City – Arkham City is Warner Bros and Rocksteady’s 2011 Batman sequel to the 2009 game Batman Arkham Asylum. The story continues outside of the desserted island Asylum and into a city full of evil that needs justifying by the Batman. Along Batman’s travels he runs into some old enemies, including this one BAMF of a Shark that almost takes Batman out completely. However Batman was carrying his handy-dandy Shark repellent in his belt and a nice punch-to-the-shark attack.
Game Shark – Here’s a game that gives you the Shark actual justice. The title is bad ass. The intro is bad ass. The fact that the game itself let you use cheat codes for pretty much every game you owned for that console is bad ass. There’s no hunting sharks, there’s no Sharks attacking you. It’s just totally mysterious and scary. To be Shark, I was scared by this intro as a child. Yeah I said it.
Worst Games Sharks Are Featured In:
Ecco The Dolphin – What in the flying Shark? The Shark doesn’t even attack it? That would never happen. And on that note, who in their right mind would ever want to play as a wimpy Dolphin? No one, they’d rather play as the Shark who has no rules. F- Horrible, just horrible.
Freddi Fish and the case of the Haunted School House – Yeah. Two Sharks working for a Giant Squid. That would never happen.
Call of Duty Black Ops – Just by watching the gameplay clip it’s quite boring and doesn’t live up to a Shark’s standards. What they need to do is add in some cool Shark designs, maybe make an underwater level where one person plays as a Shark and can kill people on both teams whilst the game carries on adding to the suspense. Now that would be Shark-crazy.
Honorary Mention of Shark In Media:
Sharpedo(Pokemon series) – Sharpedo is a water/dark type Pokemon and is this weeks Sharkville Honorary Mention of a Shark In Media for this weeks post. The Pokemon is described as torpedo-shaped is pretty Sharking awesome. Sharpedo is usually dreaded by other Pokemon lives in the upper region of the oceans which makes it pretty cool.
Sharkville 